Holy...whatever,

I do not know what to do.

Well, I know some things I could do, but I am not sure which one to do.

I am basically in a situation where the main English teacher I work with is...extremely hard to work with. I'm not sure how to explain things except that...this guy does not seem very good at his job. I am not a professional teacher, nor do I have much teaching experience at all, so I am trying to keep my thoughts moderate (also for the sake of not having to be frustrated all the time), but...there are some things I just can't help but feel cynical toward.

I was prepared to go into some long rant about the whole thing, but I really can't stay upset long enough to get into one of those moods and I'd really rather not bore any of you all (or myself) with the negativity. I am going to describe the situation, though. The teacher seems to have no organizational skills at all, which means we waste on average 10 of the 50 minutes in the class just figuring out where we left off. Once we do get going, he wastes entire class periods on exercises that provide almost no English practice at all, such as: planning a complicated order in which people are supposed to ask each other their blood type in English but just end up talking in Japanese except for the one person in the entire class who is talking to me - that was our entire class today. Other classes are taken up entirely by him getting off track and just talking to the students in Japanese about the autumn solstice or how the sports tournament went over the weekend for the entire 50 minutes.

And during this time, I...stand on the side of the classroom. My role in the class pretty much consists of doing the morning greeting, getting the kids to say the date, weather, and who is absent, then being a pronunciation model for any words the teacher chooses.

It was almost painful the other week to stand by and watch him teach the kids to speak English with the stereotypical Japanese accent that comes from learning English by a Japanese alphabet and which I thought English curriculum in Japan was trying to overcome! "Dogs; it has an s at the end but you pronounce it z. Do-gu-zu. Do-gu-ZU. Now, repeat after after the ALT." "Dogs." "Yes, do-gu-zu. Mr. Shimizu, you try saying it." "Dogs." "Do-gu-ZU. The last sound is ZU." And I'm just standing there...in awe... I asked about why he chose to teach it that way after class and he said he knew it didn't sound like "natural English" (it doesn't sound like English at all!) but he uses it to emphasize it to the students. What?! But instead, I just said, "Oh, okay...."

Plus, his inability to speak English actually makes communicating with him extremely hard (he is very resistant to subtle attempts to get him to speak Japanese), which is frustrating when trying to plan for lessons or just get a question answered in less than 5 minutes.

The thing that really sucks is some of the kids in the class seem SO SMART. They adapt to the lesson points so fast and can actually use the grammar and vocab they use in exchanges with me. And they're often eager to do so! I have a bunch of students who love to raise their hands for every question, which is SO LUCKY! I just imagine what they could learn if they were in classes that were actually structured and had some kind of direction, instead of oops, I didn't plan for today's lesson so...it's ask the ALT questions period! Not being able to do one's own job, for which one applied and opted oneself, is kind of a pet peeve for me, I think. Incompetence just really gets on me. And even worse, when it affects others to the degree that it does in a teacher-student relationship (especially at the ages of 12-14!), it just seems like negligence.

I've found myself moving more toward wanting to just let it go so that I can be free of the frustration, but I just keep thinking about how unfair it is for the students. I want to keep my passion and excitement for the job, but usually when I get out of a class with him, I just feel down. Which is really a bummer because I was just starting to think I liked working at the middle school the most because I get to see the students the most and have been able to start building relationships with them. Plus, it should be the time when they start learning more in-depth grammar and the actual structure of English, which is so exciting! But it's hard to keep good natured with this bad feeling influencing so much of my work day. I'm just going to keep my temper for now and try to do the best I can in this situation. But really, if you have any advice, I would be so grateful to hear it, cuz I don't know how well it's going to work to just keep going this way.

In other news, one of the teachers has gotten really sick really fast and makes really gross hacking noises all the time. I'm on the lookout for germy infrectionsALERT!

Holy shit, Her Space Holiday looks like THAT?

Slothbear
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I just heard this for the first time (I think) right now and I love it. "The Exceptional Bastards" is awesome. Picture, yes...hm. Well this is a cool discovery.

Still listening to a lot of Beach House, Gowns, and some pinx and Yura Yura Teikoku.

I cannot wait to get into a show this weekend and see and hear some live...ness.

Oh yeah, I heard the first feedback flare I can remember that challenged my already somewhat damanged/resistant-ified ears - at the end of "Sing," that song by Blur. It hurt while I was driving with it at a high volume. Don't want to test that again. I'll be prepared next time ;).

*10/7
Wow, I was really frustrated. Today went better and I've starting trying out some ideas to make things easier, like keeping track of the lessons we do in class as best I can, and just realizing I'm not in a position from which I can make any big changes. I'll just have to take things, a little at a time. I also started finding at least one good thing that happened during the class, like a surprisingly attentive student or a good exchange between the kids and me. I'm also working with students on their English speeches for a city-wide contest on the 20th, which is exciting. It's cool to get some one-on-one time with the students, plus I can really see some improvement coming from their hard work. Here we gooo!