College

It's kind of a bummer, but mostly just weird, that I usually feel a little uncomfortable talking about college and grad school with most of my friends. I suddenly realize how uncommon it is for someone from my group of friends and family to continue school for years past adolescence. I suddenly feel different, like I stick out awkwardly from the people I love, even though there was nothing different between us only a moment ago. I feel a little spoiled for having the opportunity to go to college and even further on to graduate school if I want. I felt this for the first time in a while talking to some of my friends last night. I realized that most of the friends I've made in Japan, too, didn't go to college or quit high school after a year or two. Talking about leaving everyone and going back to the U.S. to go to graduate school makes me feel so separated from them, like a privileged child who takes for granted all the opportunity that's been laid right in front of me without me having to do anything. I know somewhere inside that it can be good to talk about college and education with loved ones who haven't pursued education that far, but it feels so arrogant. These aren't little kids you're trying to inspire to take their education as far as they can, they're grown adults who can shape their own lives by their own decisions. But maybe there are still some who want to try again, go back to school, and pursue a dream they have. Then, maybe it is right to talk about, or at least mention, my education and career goals non-awkwardly, just normally, and maybe one of my friends who's been thinking about that will find some inspiration in it. But really, who am I to think of myself as someone to give inspiration to others? Unless I am capable of doing it as any human is, as a gift from one human to another.