It's Happened...

Oh no, it's happened. I've become a weird American.

People here always talk about how if they or their friends live outside of Japan for a long period of time, they become "weird Japanese" (変な日本人). I always have gone along with it, feeling like it was somehow connected to Japanese cultural centricism but not especially terrible or far-fetched (I just got a really strong urge to type, "Farfetch! Farfetch!"...and I did...). When people have asked me if I ever get told I'm a "weird American," I've always replied, "No," while thinking of how a lot of people in the U.S. and Japan probably don't even think of me as American at all on a daily basis. But I've always thought, "Could I even become a weird American? I mean, there are so many different types of people and sub-cultures in the U.S., and the U.S. doesn't really have a coherent culture anyways....."

But no, I am pretty sure I am now a "weird American."

In describing how I want to stay in my small town because it's a challenge to find a job here, rather than move to a big city where one would be easy to get, I used the word "masochistic."

Uh...okay, what? Japanese people use the masochist-sadist dichotomy to describe things as simple as aggressive and passive personalities, but...not native English-speakers. Needless to say that was a little weird, but I realized it as I was saying it and kind of...still said it, but maybe the other person picked up on the fact that I had just confused myself.

I think that is weird no matter what kind of American you are.

That plus:

Last time I offered to walk a woman back to her car after finishing a one-on-one English lesson after dark, I got a confused, yet polite, laugh = Japanese society is filled with less immediate physical danger everywhere and usually says that women are supposed to do things for men = no need for a walk back = I get culturally confused when going on actual dates with non-Japanese woman and make little boo-boos :(

I was in a rush to get out the door the other night and really had to get somewhere as soon as possible but I had to write a note to myself really quick so I got a piece of paper and...nicely, and slowly folded it so as to make a nice little square that I could gently tear off, write on it not to forget the milk, and place nicely on my kitchen counter. Then I was out the door.

I think it's time to put the brakes on this cultural infusion. If only just to took a look around my internal environment and get a better hold on things before continuing on, haha.

(The Dokuros, "Koi Wazura No Onna")